Transactional Analysis 2: games

Second in a series on TA, offering some of the metaphors I think can be useful in conceptualising and dealing with interactions. This second video looks at games and some ideas on how to deal with them.
—
Recommended TA texts:
1) Ian Stewart & Vann Joines: 'TA Today: A New Introduction To Transactional Analysis'
2) Thomas A Harris: 'I'm OK, You're OK'
3) Eric Berne: 'Games People Play'
—

Uploaded by: TheraminTrees
Tags for this video: PAC Parent Adult Child transactional analysis ego games stuck script TA complementary crossed split drama

Find more videos in the "Education" category

Related Videos

Comments for this video: Show || Hide

Comments for this video on YouTube

@TheraminTrees ... ( 10 months ago by lepeke)

@TheraminTrees Thank you for this series of videos. Because of them I have started reading the books you suggested in an attempt to identify and curtail my games as well as gracefully exit stressful situations with family members.
I have "Games People Play" but I couldn't quite categorize some games I find myself repeating. Is there another book you could recommend?

@Fiskepudding127 ... ( 10 months ago by lepeke)

@Fiskepudding127 There was a game listed in "Games People Play" by Eric Berne called "I was only trying to help" Where someone's advice is continually rejected and the payoff is a feeling of bewilderment at the ingratitude of the person on the receiving end of the advice. It is very possible that your friend is playing "yes but". The exit listed in the book for "yes but" is "That is a tough one, what do you think you should do?" but also states that for the most part the game is harmless.

i just had ... ( 9 months ago by blaze7810)

i just had epiphany. with your videos. lol. this is some good stuff keep up the work.

9:21"I'm sure it ... ( 8 months ago by christo930)

9:21"I'm sure it might seem difficult, but give it a go", seems like the adult thing to say. The encouraging nature of it seems like it's at an adult level. "I'm sure it might seem difficult, but give it a go, you know you're smart enough to do it" would seem more like the encouraging parent. What do you think?

I think one of the ... ( 7 months ago by robman8855)

I think one of the widest examples of these games can be found in tiny comment wars on Youtube.. I think this is due in part to the fact that comments here are just text and the reader can unknowingly project whatever kind of emotional tone onto the comment that their current state wants to here.. it also makes me wonder if by posting this am I being an adult or am I seeking some kind of parental recognition

Yeah, I need to ... ( 7 months ago by KIRKADELIK)

Yeah, I need to stop falling for the "cons" projected upon me and just "unplug" more.

@Slashenaar Well ... ( 6 months ago by Nightmare060)

@Slashenaar Well it's an important difference to define since the person making a positive claim should have the burden of proof. You make a good point about potentially becoming the correcting parent, but the discussion was something that was brought up, and so when talking about our respective positions it's important to have an accurate definition of what that position actually is.

@Nightmare060 This ... ( 6 months ago by Slashenaar)

@Nightmare060 This makes sense represented more as a parent -><
- parent situation to me. what need of yours is being (or attempting) met, the need to be understood, or approved of by the theist? I'm asking why do you need them to understand the difference?

@Slashenaar Burden ... ( 6 months ago by Nightmare060)

@Slashenaar Burden of proof is a big reason to clarify ones position on the existence of god(s). I can be a bit stubborn when trying to argue a point that I don't feel is being represented properly, although these days I walk away from these situations considerably more than I used to.

Games seem to not ... ( 6 months ago by ManlySlut)

Games seem to not occur in the Adult state, so I'm guessing the way to beat them is to respond in an adult state, to change their state.
I think they will continue to change their state, but if they don't go into an Adult state, then the solution would be to change into Negative Parent (probably controlling) as they will likely already be embarrassed by your already more mature state, and thus, you are now the one the parent and they are the child.
Or, any state could work, that looks easiest.

Excellent series of ... ( 6 months ago by CounsellingResource)

Excellent series of videos on Transactional Analysis.
I recommend them to my students

@ ... ( 6 months ago by TheraminTrees)

@CounsellingResource Thank you. I think TA has some incredibly valuable thinking tools to offer — even when I'm not using TA terms explicitly with clients, it informs my relationship dynamic/responses hugely.

Exactly how ... ( 6 months ago by Kabitu1)

Exactly how educated are you in the matter of psychology and human behaviour?
I´ve seen plenty of people discuss these topics on this site, but you somehow seem like more of an authority on the matter than most people.

@Kabitu1 I did a ... ( 6 months ago by TheraminTrees)

@Kabitu1 I did a degree in psychology along with several years of postgrad courses — about to start another 2-year course in September.

It's funny, without ... ( 5 months ago by PurpleGhost)

It's funny, without ever knowing about this- I had noticed this tendency.
I would play B and try to help people with their problems (I honestly do have a sincere want to help people) but the more often these rounds of suggestions were met with hositility rather than receptiveness, the more I came to realize that most people really had to reach for answers themselves. If I suggested things, more often than helping, I'd only be opening myself to abuse. That's no help, and no fun.

This is really ... ( 5 months ago by StuartG001)

This is really useful. Cheers for makung this Theramin :)

Possibly this has ... ( 3 months ago by porrophagus)

Possibly this has been addressed here, but how do you keep from going into an infinite regress, examining every aspect of every action you and others do? How do you consider the transactions while keeping a flowing and natural relationship with your partners?
By the way, you've been an intense influence on my life. I find myself referring to your work in discussions often.

@porrophagus It ... ( 3 months ago by TheraminTrees)

@porrophagus It could get immobilising couldn't it — the potential for endless analysis. Speaking personally, I've found it's come naturally with experience/practice. Like juggling — especially like juggling with two significantly different weights, where at the start the heavy one gets more attention. Eventually, with practice, the body finds its equilibrium. I've found the same to be true of information processing when it comes to juggling acting and observing.

thanks again ... ( 3 months ago by skiddywinkle)

thanks again TheraminTrees!

Array ( 2 months ago by RippdUb)

@TheraminTrees
Ive found that in everyday life its best to analyse the self more than others. When practiced in this kind of thing (such as working as a counsellor) and just paying attention others reactionary behaviour is often quite obvious, but not so obvious from the self. Ive known a few psychologist who could do with taking on what they tell their clients.
Over analysing the self does have its own problems though, and as you've said Theramin, a balance needs to be found.

Array ( 1 month ago by rkyeun)

@porrophagus
One of the most amazing things about the human mind, and about consciousness in general, are that infinite regresses collapse into a solid mental object. For example:
I am aware. I am aware that I am aware. I am aware that I am aware that I am aware...
This leads to an infinite regress, but we are not actually confused by it. We understand the implication and can complete the circle instead of drawing an unending spiral. The collapsed form of "I am aware..." is:
I am.

Thank you very much ... ( 2 weeks ago by SlagarNZ)

Thank you very much. Very informative and extremely well produced videos on TA. I'm also very grateful that you've put "Recommended TA texts" in your video description.